God provides in so many ways. Yesterday, I was so down and just not doing well in general. I was debating whether or not I was going to go to church in the morning, and I was just craving a good, solid hug from someone. Like, a DEEP hug. You know those hugs, I know you do.
But this morning, I got up and knew I needed to go to church. So, I went. The whole walk to church I was praying and thinking and talking to God. I know we go to church to worship, but I was really in a bad place and asking Him to fill me up and open my heart so I could truly worship Him. I wanted to give Him all that He deserves, and I just didn't have much to give this morning. It was a good walk.
During worship, the tears that have been behind my eyes all week finally came. I prayed for a long time for my friends, for my family, and for the family of my friend who killed herself a little over a week ago. I let it all out. My frustrations with different things. I just cried. I sang. I cried some more. I was up and down during the service. As I was leaving, someone stopped me, and started talking to me and then gave me a huge hug and prayed for me. It was amazing. It meant so much to me. She doesn't even know the half of it, and was just there and God really spoke to me through her.
She then kidnapped me for a BBQ that was greatly needed. I didn't even realize how much I needed it until I was there and laughing and sharing with people. It was great.
Then I came back for our last Bible study meeting of the semester. We made a recipe that was at the back of our book and then ate it while we chatted about the last few days, our times here, and what we're doing next year. Then we popcorn prayed for each other and it was just an awesome way to end our study. I'm so glad I got to spend time with those beautiful women, and ask that you join me as I pray for the journeys we are all embarking upon in the next few weeks and months...
Then I walked home barefoot in the pouring down rain.
Now I'm home and it feels good. It's time for me to sleep. I have a busy week ahead of me, and I'm really glad for the weekend I've had. Especially today.
God's provision is perfect.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Trials
Life is full of trials, and sometimes, we are given more than we think we can handle. I have been ill for quite some time, but I have faith that I will come through it and be well again. I find solace in the fact that it means God is working on me. If life was easy, it'd be like an overgrown field that a farmer has given up on. He hasn't given up on me, and is training me more and more to be strong in Him.
Besides being ill, I have had to deal with some hard blows in the last week. A friend killed herself on May 7, and that has thrown my emotions all for a loop in ways I can't explain. Papers are becoming more difficult to obtain and I found out that mine is one of three that were recently denied again. New staff might not be able to come because of this same issue, and so, I am now re-interviewing in order to have some back-ups for these positions.
Work itself is stressful. I pray for God's grace to fill me every morning so I can pour that out on the people I work with. I do not ever want to be someone who is not gracious, forgiving, kind, but it does get hard at times. It is interesting to me how different people handle different situations. I know people who yell at everything, and I know I could be that way. There is a part of me that wants to scream at people when they are not thinking logically, or are just being plain rude. But I don't scream. I stop myself, breath, and speak.
It just seems that at the current moment there is a lot going on, and nothing settles down long enough for me to get a grip. This weekend, I don't even have a break. My first break won't come until later next week. Tonight, though, I listened to a sermon from one of my favorite preachers, and I'm really glad I made myself take time to listen and be fed. It was really good and a challenging message. My heart needs to hear things like that to remind why I'm doing what I'm doing and why I continue to go through the struggles.
Because, no matter what it takes, we are on this earth to build the Kingdom.
That is why.
Besides being ill, I have had to deal with some hard blows in the last week. A friend killed herself on May 7, and that has thrown my emotions all for a loop in ways I can't explain. Papers are becoming more difficult to obtain and I found out that mine is one of three that were recently denied again. New staff might not be able to come because of this same issue, and so, I am now re-interviewing in order to have some back-ups for these positions.
Work itself is stressful. I pray for God's grace to fill me every morning so I can pour that out on the people I work with. I do not ever want to be someone who is not gracious, forgiving, kind, but it does get hard at times. It is interesting to me how different people handle different situations. I know people who yell at everything, and I know I could be that way. There is a part of me that wants to scream at people when they are not thinking logically, or are just being plain rude. But I don't scream. I stop myself, breath, and speak.
It just seems that at the current moment there is a lot going on, and nothing settles down long enough for me to get a grip. This weekend, I don't even have a break. My first break won't come until later next week. Tonight, though, I listened to a sermon from one of my favorite preachers, and I'm really glad I made myself take time to listen and be fed. It was really good and a challenging message. My heart needs to hear things like that to remind why I'm doing what I'm doing and why I continue to go through the struggles.
Because, no matter what it takes, we are on this earth to build the Kingdom.
That is why.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Perks...
There are certain perks to living here. It is season here, which means, our town is overrun with tourists. Because of them, our ATM's have been out of money quite often recently (and it seems, especially, when I walk to one of them). This has left me with very little cash in my wallet.
However, what I do LOVE about living here, is that I went to market today and bought potatoes, tomatoes, okra, capsicum, cauliflower, carrots, onions and garlic. All for under the equivalent of $4! I love it. I just had what is probably one of the best dinners putting everything together except for the garlic. It was sooo good. O, and I should mention that in that I also got grapes and bananas! Mmmmm. SO good.
Anyways. I'm going to go now. Just a quick update.
However, what I do LOVE about living here, is that I went to market today and bought potatoes, tomatoes, okra, capsicum, cauliflower, carrots, onions and garlic. All for under the equivalent of $4! I love it. I just had what is probably one of the best dinners putting everything together except for the garlic. It was sooo good. O, and I should mention that in that I also got grapes and bananas! Mmmmm. SO good.
Anyways. I'm going to go now. Just a quick update.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Laughter
Laughter is the best way to forget about everything that is going on. And I am completely surrounded by people that help me laugh. I am thankful for that. Truly thankful.
I don't know how I've been so blessed to have developed the relationships that I have, but they are amazing. I can walk out of my house in almost any direction, show up somewhere, and SOMEone will make me laugh. And even if I'm not outrightly laughing, they will at least cheer me up.
I spend much of my day meeting with various people about various issues. While I'm on these rounds, I often stop into other peoples' offices and bother them. I figure, if I have to be out, I might as well visit people, right? So, I do. And through these visits, real friendships have developed. And with a broad range of people, too. I can't say that I'm only friends with foreigners, or young people, or only friends with teachers, or only my department. I have a really well rounded group of friends. Nationals, foreigners, young, old, married, single, teachers, secretaries, administration... so many different people. I love it.
I've really been learning a lot recently. About many different things, but mostly about relationships. For me, letting people in is hard. I've been learning for a long time how to let people in, but I've only recently really started to put the things I've learned into practice. Having those support systems in place certainly makes hard times easier.
I've also just gotten a lot of new books. I'm very excited! I'm currently reading Donald Miller's "Searching for God Knows What". I am about halfway through but recommend it to anyone who wants to learn in a fun way. He looks at creation and the fall in an interesting way that totally relates to life and helps you see things in new ways.
More another day. I'm sorry I've been so bad at writing.
I don't know how I've been so blessed to have developed the relationships that I have, but they are amazing. I can walk out of my house in almost any direction, show up somewhere, and SOMEone will make me laugh. And even if I'm not outrightly laughing, they will at least cheer me up.
I spend much of my day meeting with various people about various issues. While I'm on these rounds, I often stop into other peoples' offices and bother them. I figure, if I have to be out, I might as well visit people, right? So, I do. And through these visits, real friendships have developed. And with a broad range of people, too. I can't say that I'm only friends with foreigners, or young people, or only friends with teachers, or only my department. I have a really well rounded group of friends. Nationals, foreigners, young, old, married, single, teachers, secretaries, administration... so many different people. I love it.
I've really been learning a lot recently. About many different things, but mostly about relationships. For me, letting people in is hard. I've been learning for a long time how to let people in, but I've only recently really started to put the things I've learned into practice. Having those support systems in place certainly makes hard times easier.
I've also just gotten a lot of new books. I'm very excited! I'm currently reading Donald Miller's "Searching for God Knows What". I am about halfway through but recommend it to anyone who wants to learn in a fun way. He looks at creation and the fall in an interesting way that totally relates to life and helps you see things in new ways.
More another day. I'm sorry I've been so bad at writing.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Interesting...
It's been an interesting week. It started with two meals on Sunday at a new restaurant in town. Once at lunch, and once at dinner. The dinner was an early birthday dinner as Tuesday night was reserved by a friend of mine. Dinner was me and four friends and we had a really good time sitting and joking and just forgetting where we were. The restaurant even gave us all brownies and bananas for desert!
Monday was nothing special.
Tuesday was a busy day that ended with dinner at my friend's place. She had made me a fabulous cake that morning and the department sang to me and it was just wonderful. All day long was just good. Students saying happy birthday (how they found out, I have no idea), singing to me, hugs from the most unlikely of places, and just a general good time. Wednesday was another normal day, followed by an interesting night at a friend's and then back for bed. Thursday was Earth Day and so the day was just weird. We had appreciation day from the seniors and all got a card and a rose. Kind of sweet.
Friday was a busy day. Teaching and meetings and getting things done and getting other things fixed...
And today is Saturday. I woke up this morning, sat around for a while reading and just having a relaxing morning. I went to school for rehearsal after lunch, and it turned out to be good. If they can remember everything for their last two rehearsals, we'll be fine for the concert.
THEN, I went to a shop nearby the gate. He sells jewelry, and it's where I got my nose done and my ears repierced. He's awesome and is actually going to teach me a new language this summer while I'm here. I've been trying to get an earing stand from him for months and he finally had it! He also remembered that I had mentioned my birthday when I saw him the other day, so he gave me a pair of earing for my birthday. He cracks me up.
I waited for a friend to show up, and then we proceeded to the hospital for our eye exams. The ophthalmologist only comes up once a month, so you get in now, or you have to wait. We were the second people there, and the doctor was supposed arrive at 4 (we got there at 3:30 since it's first come, first serve), and he didn't show up until 5:30!!! TII. Got my eyes checked out, and found out that my right eye has indeed gotten worse, so I have my new prescription and will be getting new glasses soon. I talked to him about contacts, but he didn't have his stuff. So, next month he said he'll bring it up, so I'll go see him again. It's about time I got some contacts. Glasses make me made on more than the general occasion.
Anyway. That's my life right now, it was a fast, and yet really long week. Tomorrow morning, the music department is taking over chapel. The band is playing the prelude, brass ensemble playing hymns, choir is singing the offertory, and then the brass is playing the postlude. It should be good. Well, I hope it will be good. We've worked too hard for it to be bad.
And then, next weekend, the concerts (April 30/May 1)
On May 8th (the weekend), I am getting out of the village for a day or two. It will be expensive, but totally needed at this point.
The next weekend (15th), I'm going off the mountain with a friend to hit the import store and see what we can get there so she doesn't bring back things that are available here.
And the next weekend is graduation and we finish!
The next week I will be taking a trip down to a temple city so that will be good.
And now, apparently, I am officially a leader for the 9th grade field trip next year. We will be going to a few places I haven't been, so I'm excited.
Word.
Monday was nothing special.
Tuesday was a busy day that ended with dinner at my friend's place. She had made me a fabulous cake that morning and the department sang to me and it was just wonderful. All day long was just good. Students saying happy birthday (how they found out, I have no idea), singing to me, hugs from the most unlikely of places, and just a general good time. Wednesday was another normal day, followed by an interesting night at a friend's and then back for bed. Thursday was Earth Day and so the day was just weird. We had appreciation day from the seniors and all got a card and a rose. Kind of sweet.
Friday was a busy day. Teaching and meetings and getting things done and getting other things fixed...
And today is Saturday. I woke up this morning, sat around for a while reading and just having a relaxing morning. I went to school for rehearsal after lunch, and it turned out to be good. If they can remember everything for their last two rehearsals, we'll be fine for the concert.
THEN, I went to a shop nearby the gate. He sells jewelry, and it's where I got my nose done and my ears repierced. He's awesome and is actually going to teach me a new language this summer while I'm here. I've been trying to get an earing stand from him for months and he finally had it! He also remembered that I had mentioned my birthday when I saw him the other day, so he gave me a pair of earing for my birthday. He cracks me up.
I waited for a friend to show up, and then we proceeded to the hospital for our eye exams. The ophthalmologist only comes up once a month, so you get in now, or you have to wait. We were the second people there, and the doctor was supposed arrive at 4 (we got there at 3:30 since it's first come, first serve), and he didn't show up until 5:30!!! TII. Got my eyes checked out, and found out that my right eye has indeed gotten worse, so I have my new prescription and will be getting new glasses soon. I talked to him about contacts, but he didn't have his stuff. So, next month he said he'll bring it up, so I'll go see him again. It's about time I got some contacts. Glasses make me made on more than the general occasion.
Anyway. That's my life right now, it was a fast, and yet really long week. Tomorrow morning, the music department is taking over chapel. The band is playing the prelude, brass ensemble playing hymns, choir is singing the offertory, and then the brass is playing the postlude. It should be good. Well, I hope it will be good. We've worked too hard for it to be bad.
And then, next weekend, the concerts (April 30/May 1)
On May 8th (the weekend), I am getting out of the village for a day or two. It will be expensive, but totally needed at this point.
The next weekend (15th), I'm going off the mountain with a friend to hit the import store and see what we can get there so she doesn't bring back things that are available here.
And the next weekend is graduation and we finish!
The next week I will be taking a trip down to a temple city so that will be good.
And now, apparently, I am officially a leader for the 9th grade field trip next year. We will be going to a few places I haven't been, so I'm excited.
Word.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
God-incidence
Learning this week about God putting people in our lives at certain moments and those moments speaking to us. Beth Moore discusses this in the Bible study this week about King Xerxes realizing after five years that he hasn't thanked Mordecai for saving his life, and asking his right hand man, Haman, what to do for someone whom the king wishes to honor. Haman, of course, thinks of himself only and goes into elaborate details about the robe of the king being put on the man and for him to be led through town on the king's horse with everyone bowing to him... God worked all of that out together to save the Jews from the edict Haman had sent out...
Wednesday night, I came home ill from school. I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to take medicine. I just wanted to sleep. And sleep I did. After a bit, I got a phone call from an unknown number, and while I don't usually answer, I thought I should this time. It was a woman from our Bible study who had heard God tell her to pray for me and wanted to share some scripture with me. God truly sent this message to her and it was enough to get me going to at least make something to eat that night.
There are times when God makes things happen that just speak right to us. This has happened numerous times to me over the last few months, and I am so thankful that He is sending messages through various people in my life. It keeps me going and pushing. It also helps me correct myself. I am thankful for the people in my life who will tell me when I am wrong. Only by being told can I fix it, and I am grateful.
God is good.
Wednesday night, I came home ill from school. I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to take medicine. I just wanted to sleep. And sleep I did. After a bit, I got a phone call from an unknown number, and while I don't usually answer, I thought I should this time. It was a woman from our Bible study who had heard God tell her to pray for me and wanted to share some scripture with me. God truly sent this message to her and it was enough to get me going to at least make something to eat that night.
There are times when God makes things happen that just speak right to us. This has happened numerous times to me over the last few months, and I am so thankful that He is sending messages through various people in my life. It keeps me going and pushing. It also helps me correct myself. I am thankful for the people in my life who will tell me when I am wrong. Only by being told can I fix it, and I am grateful.
God is good.
Friday, April 9, 2010
God's Cake
I just want to share with you something a friend of mine sent me this morning. It really encouraged me as I work through a rough time in my life...
God's cake...
This is about the best thing I've ever read as an explanation.
Sometimes we wonder, 'What did I do to deserve this?' or 'Why did God have to do this to me?' Here is a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, 'Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.'
'Here, have some cooking oil,' her Mother offers.
'Yuck' says her daughter.
'How about a couple raw eggs?' 'Gross, Mom!'
'Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?'
'Mom, those are all yucky!'
To which the mother replies: ‘Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
‘God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
God's cake...
This is about the best thing I've ever read as an explanation.
Sometimes we wonder, 'What did I do to deserve this?' or 'Why did God have to do this to me?' Here is a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, 'Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.'
'Here, have some cooking oil,' her Mother offers.
'Yuck' says her daughter.
'How about a couple raw eggs?' 'Gross, Mom!'
'Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?'
'Mom, those are all yucky!'
To which the mother replies: ‘Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
‘God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
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