Made in the USA

This is not what you think. Rather than the proud, flag-waving "MADE IN THE USA" screamed from rooftops, this is Made in the USA: The Sex Trafficking of America's Children by Alisa Jordheim of the Justice Society. This is a book that reminds us over and over again that, like so many things, sex trafficking isn't just "over there" in the developing world, but exists in the city, suburbs, and rural areas of the USA, as well. It is not something we can brush off and ignore as our children are bought and sold.

Jordheim does a great job of bringing the picture together - what it is, how it happens, and what the effects are on those pulled (or sold in). Sex-trafficking is a large and varied issue and girls AND boys are at risk. However, Jordheim doesn't just educate us, but also presents ways to help including groups that have been starting, warning signs and when to report to the NHTRC (National Human Trafficking Resource Center), as well as listing other national and international groups.

This book is not for just anyone to read, but I think everyone should take the time to read and educate themselves on sex-trafficking and the HUGE deal it is EVEN IN AMERICA. Often we look for the problems overseas so we don't have to focus on them here, but Jordheim does a great job of bringing these stories to life and reminding us that these are real, and they are here. Don't look overseas, when you can probably look in your own town.

Educate yourself, and then work to make this book an archive - hopefully, some day, a book like this will not need to be read. That's my hope. But for now - read it.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the author and/or publisher through the Speakeasy blogging book review network. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Christianity is Messy: Walking in Grace

I get frustrated sometimes.

I am part of a group of youth ministers from all over the country that engages in "conversations" about things going on - the best camps, ideas for meetings and games, working through Bible studies together, coming up with graphics and publications, etc...

I generally remain quiet because, unfortunately, our theologies differ SO very much. The moderators of the group are of a certain bent that they will delete things that they don't agree with. I hem and haw about leaving the group, but I find that there is a good amount of collaboration and while I don't use a lot that I hear from them, I find it interesting to learn what other ministries are doing...

But this morning... well, this morning things are going nuts on the forum. This happens every once in a while - someone frames a question in such a way that it gets every one riled up because not everyone agrees that women can't teach men.

(Why this group even allows women to join, I'm not sure, because they clearly don't agree with us in ministry... though I've learned it's assumed, apparently, that the women in the group are youth pastor's wives, but they've now created a group just for YP wives that they're supposed to go join.... Some of us then asked about youth pastor husbands... we haven't been answered....)

So the conversations this morning are about women not teaching men, and there are some guys ARDENTLY arguing that 2 Timothy could not possibly be wrong or situational or written in a particular context. Then there is a group arguing to kick someone out of leadership for an indiscretion they have sought out forgiveness for... but apparently, this indiscretion isn't covered by grace - though consequences have already been dealt and gone through...

And then my mind goes to the questions we have - why does it seem like so many churches are struggling, and why some churches seem to be growing by leaps and bounds... and these churches are churches that teach dangerous theologies!!!! Theologies that exclude and, and theologies that suppress, and theologies that pit God against the world. And I have problems with that... why are churches that are struggling through practicing grace struggling, but churches that seem to have little grace are growing....

Here's my thoughts:

It's easy to have a faith that is black and white, and we live in a world where so much is gray, that one place of black and white is welcome. But then, also, much like the rest of the world, everything is about opposition. Apparently we all have to have an issue to rebuke. We all have to have a stance on everything and we cannot engage in conversation or practice grace because if you don't agree with me, we can't talk and we certainly can't work together.

For churches of theologies that are more towards center (I'm not even going to the liberal theologies, I'm just talking moderate), it is hard - because there is no line to define the church. These are the churches that look back at the Bible and realize it's not easy...

The Bible was written in the midst of struggle - they were trying to figure out their theologies, their beliefs, their understanding of Jesus' life - but as I told someone this morning, at the time, Jesus was an unremarkable man for the first 30 years of his life. 5 people had been visited by angels (Mary/Joseph/Shepherds) and knew, from God, that Jesus was the son of God. But the rest of the world had 30 years to wonder about this kid running around, apprenticing Joseph, sitting in the temple (and if you read the apocrypha, killing a kid for making him mad, and then bringing him back to life)... what kid doesn't say something profound every once in a while? What kid doesn't run around or get left behind sometimes?

And let's be honest - if some random 5 people said the things Mary and Joseph did, we'd probably think they were crazy, trying to start a cult, or just had everything wrong (potentially as emotionally disturbed persons)... People had no idea what was going on.

So we have letters - one way letters - we don't know what prompted them, and we try to reconstruct situations and contexts based on the contents of a letter - but all we have is one side of the conversation. We gather pieces of evidence to hopefully understand...

But they were just as confused then as we are now. We can read Paul's letters as his theology changes, but some people hold on to Paul's words as much as they do the words recorded from Jesus' mouth.

It is easy to read something from the Bible and call it all Gospel, than to really take it to task and realize that the Bible shows us peoples' growth and changes - it shows us the struggles they had, too.

I mean, really, if people read things I wrote years ago, my theology and understanding of God were so different.

And I'm not saying I have all the answers - faith just brings more questions, but that's why it's faith. God doesn't have to answer my questions, but I hope some day, God's mercy puts me out of my misery!!!!! ;-)

I just seem to be realizing that it is so much easy to just condemn people because some words say so, without taking into consideration that (especially the letters) were written by a particular person to a particular audience. Were Paul and Timothy writing and knowing that forever we were going to hold on to their words? NO! They were writing to the church in Corinth, the church in Ephesus... They weren't writing to us almost 2000 years later -

Jesus, however, was more "these are the things you need to remember... LOVE one another and I first loved you," "love your neighbor AS YOURSELF," "For God so LOVED the world...", and "may the one without sin cast the first stone..."

Too often we forget the words of Jesus for the words that come from everywhere else.

Sure, we can glean insight from them - but sometimes that insight is that they struggled, too, and perhaps we can find comfort in them. One and two generations out from Jesus did not have all the answers, and we have to remember that we will never have the answer...

But we are supposed to walk in GRACE. We are supposed to walk in LOVE. And that is not easy. It's not easy at all. It's messy. People who say faith is easy or seem to have all the answers, probably don't.

And let's be honest, the road Jesus walked was not easy either. People had no idea what he was doing and what he was talking about, but we come back to his point over and over again: LOVE. Grace for the outcast. Welcoming arms. Reaching out.

It's so much more comfortable to close people out. To walk into the church on Sunday and close the doors.

That's not what Jesus did. Jesus overturned the tables in the temple. Jesus preached on the mountain side. Jesus sat down and said "Let the children come to me." Jesus fed people even when it seemed there wasn't enough.

So why are we spending our time arguing about women in ministry, and trying to convince people to not forgive someone... why are we wasting time and resources on discussing the inappropriateness of playing games at youth group (or certain games), or the fact that some movies/books/shows don't glorify God (let's be honest, God probably laughs at EVERYTHING that's on tv, not one show or movie more than others)...

Let's walk the messy road - the road of loving our neighbor - the road of reaching out - the road of grace...

Authenticity and the Evolution of Awesome

Every time I sit to write an entry on my blog, I revise my thoughts.

Why? 

Because I wonder who will read what I write. I wonder who will be offended by what I'm thinking. I wonder what parts of my story may make people see me differently. I wonder if people will see the people in my life differently. I wonder if people will try to figure out which happening in my life inspired an entry or certain ponderings.


And when you're an introvert like me, those things are scary.

Writing in a blog like this is public. It's a spilling out of my soul onto a page that anyone can read, and that I post in an identifiable way. Perhaps if this was more anonymous, it wouldn't be so scary... but really, what's the point of that? There's some cathartic release to anonymity, but that defeats the purpose of living life together, right? That defeats the purpose of all of it.

And yet, I can't seem to write the words I really want to write. And that probably explains my long periods of absence more than anything else. It's not that I become at a loss for words, it's because I'm at a loss for the appropriate words. The not too deep words. The unoffending words.

I envy the people who write uninhibited. I envy the people who can live their life never wondering what others think. I envy the people who can post whatever they want on facebook without second-guessing every phrase and sentence...

And then I have days that I wonder "how in the world, in the head of myself - that is such an introvert and always second-guessing myself - did I get this reputation for being awesome?"

Because, let's face it, it started as a joke. More of a response to the "how are you" down the hallway that no-one really wants a response to, so I started saying "I'm awesome, how are you?" At least that would cause people to stop and turn around for a second... It was also my response on days when I was feeling less than awesome because it would help me lift myself up.

Awesome is one of those words that is a wall word. It's a brick in my protection. Now, yes, as people remind me, I have done A LOT in my life, and a LOT of it is awesome. I mean, I'm not yet 30, and I've lived overseas twice, I've met awesome people, played awesome concerts, read great books, attempted writing a book (well, many), been published (don't ask, seriously), learned a lot and tried to use it for good, and had a grand time with people literally all over the world... my life has been awesome...

but that's not what I think about on a daily basis. To me, I haven't done enough, not yet. To me there is more to do. To me I need to finish a book and publish it. To me I need to discover myself more. To me - well... I'm my own worst critic (As I'm reminding myself over and over the last few days), and I don't necessarily think I've reached the pinnacle of awesome (yet?).

But I would like to be awesome some day - whatever that means.

And yet, somehow, my life has devolved (evolved?) into this ball of awesome. My ordination even had the word awesome thrown around a couple times. So, I go with it, and made an instagram with my new moniker: RevAwesome (a name stemming from my ordination), and a twitter to a similar effect....

And yet I question my awesomeness. I'm not nearly as egotistical as calling myself awesome implies. In fact, it's a striving that I take part in every day...

Much like following Christ, it's not a goal, but a process...

and I guess that's awesome, too.

There's my authenticity and awesome for the day.

fin.

Word-stoppage and new languages

I've recently found myself at a loss for words. That's not usual for me (it probably doesn't seem that way to you, as my blog has regularly had periods of absence, but I promise words are normally flowing somewhere). Perhaps it is because I'm living in my head so much right now adjusting to a new normal - and that could very well be the case. I'm sort of just starting to find myself in a new place - not that I lost myself, but I'm starting to meld and merge and communicate.

I'm excited to find my voice in a new place... it reminds me of learning a new language (which reminds me - I need to practice more - and perhaps learn a new one)... where for a while you are just observing, hearing new sounds, but unable to voice anything that makes sense to those around you yet still survive and complete the most basic of tasks. Learning Tamil took me a long time. While some people jumped right in and were making fools of themselves quite quickly, I sit back and listen more because I want to understand what's going on before I speak. I learned a couple words my first year, but it was my second and third years that I finally started communicating in Tamil. By the time I moved, I could get in a taxi and have a complete conversation in Tamil. I felt accomplished.

I'm trying to remember that as I learn a new "language" right now.

I was given advice before I moved (in 2008) - that it takes years before a place becomes "yours". And today I was thinking about people I know to whom I can say "I have your child!" jump in the car and we'll meet them somewhere later... Well - reminder to myself: that took years, too. You don't jump right in and have it all figured out and know everyone, and that is normal.

I'm trying to give myself grace, because I *DO* expect a lot from myself.

But for now, my goal this weekend is to get back on the bandwagon of book reviews. I've received a few books in the last week that I've been waiting a while for, and I'm really excited about some of them (and, first impressions, a little disappointed by others already). Be on the look-out for these reviews and for some education possibly. Once I get caught up on reviews, I'm going to set a schedule and be more intentional about writing and reflecting.

Coming up:
Book reviews!!!
The Mountains and the Valleys - Faith's Highs and Lows
The Death of Ordination - and the Life Everlasting