I devour books. In case you didn't know.
I finished "The Great Divorce" yesterday. I recommend it. Seriously.
I started "The Shack" immediately after finished Lewis. It is finished this evening. It is tremendous. I recommend you read it. My favorite quote:
"...just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."
Interesting, eh? I truly recommend you read it. It brings a lot of questions to my mind, but they are to be postulated, posed, deliberated, and just generally thrown around in different forums until I am ready to post them here. Please don't hate me for that!!!
I've written quite a few blogs this week. I hope to keep this up a bit. I want this blog to be more of a spiritual update and pondering blog about my experiences here as well as what is going on in my heart more than the physical update that the e-mail updates are. So I hope to keep this up more often. It will probably average about once or twice a week with this week being special.
Hope you enjoy!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Currently reading...
I tend to read too many books at one time. And as I recently described myself to a fellow book-lover, I'm a cleptomaniac when it comes to books. I love them. And I love to own them, write on them, mark them, ask questions, write thoughts, and just generally devour books. Because of this, I'm not very good at borrowing them or being a member of a library. This is okay if it's a simple read, or something that will take me a day or two, but most of the books I read do not fall into this category.
I've been posting and e-mailing quotes recently, and I've been blogging about them in some of my other blogs I have and maintain. I just figured I'd let you know what I'm currently reading so you kind of know where they're coming from if you'd ever like to check them out.
First, a devotional I came across at FBC's library and fell in love with, causing me to buy my own copy, called "Streams in the Desert".
Second, "The Great Divorce". I came across this at last year's summer Crossroads at Gardner Webb in the school bookstore, on sale, so I had to get it. Thus, I'm still reading it. The beginning is a bit harder to get into, and I admit, I slacked on reading it for a while, but the end is very good. I plan to finish it soon. (Probably this weekend).
Third, a book I first heard about from a friend of mine in New Zealand, felt compelled to read it, found it in the church library, and again, ended up buying my own copy. I've been reading it for almost two years now as it takes me a long time to get through and contemplate and think about each section, person or chapter as I go. It's emotional as much as it is intellectual. It's called "Foxe's Book of Martyrs".
Fourth. Well, I found this book on sale during one of my day trip excursions to NYC and it was raining. I decided to duck into the Barnes and Noble on Broadway and have some coffee and sit and read for a while. So I did. I thoroughly enjoyed that day and found this book on sale. So, of course, I got it. This book is quite an intellectual read and so has taken me a long time to start (and it is quite daunting at 545 pages of translated Latin. It is "City of God" by Saint Augustine. I'm glad I've begun it, because it's become cross referenced with Foxe's Book of Martyrs and it helps me to have read both.
Lastly, I picked up a book today that I plan to start this evening. I've heard a lot about it in the last few months and I figure it's time to read it. It was in the school book fair so I picked it up. "The Shack". We shall see if it lives up to the reputation it has been given.
There are so many more books I want to read and I'm compelled to start, but I think I should start finishing some books (Great Divorce is first in line for that) before I start another. I think next for me to read is "A Christian Theology of Religions"...
However, today my flute teacher told me a few books that I need to read so they'll be thrown in as well. First, a story I began today called "The Other Wise Man". He's interested in trying to write it musically, so we'll see if we can't do that after I read it through. "Christ Recrucified" I added to my list recently, and he mentioned it today, so I think I'll be reading that soon, as well. And then one called "Polly Anna" that I've never heard of.
So, that's what I'm reading in case you're wondering where these quotes are coming from.
All my love.
I've been posting and e-mailing quotes recently, and I've been blogging about them in some of my other blogs I have and maintain. I just figured I'd let you know what I'm currently reading so you kind of know where they're coming from if you'd ever like to check them out.
First, a devotional I came across at FBC's library and fell in love with, causing me to buy my own copy, called "Streams in the Desert".
Second, "The Great Divorce". I came across this at last year's summer Crossroads at Gardner Webb in the school bookstore, on sale, so I had to get it. Thus, I'm still reading it. The beginning is a bit harder to get into, and I admit, I slacked on reading it for a while, but the end is very good. I plan to finish it soon. (Probably this weekend).
Third, a book I first heard about from a friend of mine in New Zealand, felt compelled to read it, found it in the church library, and again, ended up buying my own copy. I've been reading it for almost two years now as it takes me a long time to get through and contemplate and think about each section, person or chapter as I go. It's emotional as much as it is intellectual. It's called "Foxe's Book of Martyrs".
Fourth. Well, I found this book on sale during one of my day trip excursions to NYC and it was raining. I decided to duck into the Barnes and Noble on Broadway and have some coffee and sit and read for a while. So I did. I thoroughly enjoyed that day and found this book on sale. So, of course, I got it. This book is quite an intellectual read and so has taken me a long time to start (and it is quite daunting at 545 pages of translated Latin. It is "City of God" by Saint Augustine. I'm glad I've begun it, because it's become cross referenced with Foxe's Book of Martyrs and it helps me to have read both.
Lastly, I picked up a book today that I plan to start this evening. I've heard a lot about it in the last few months and I figure it's time to read it. It was in the school book fair so I picked it up. "The Shack". We shall see if it lives up to the reputation it has been given.
There are so many more books I want to read and I'm compelled to start, but I think I should start finishing some books (Great Divorce is first in line for that) before I start another. I think next for me to read is "A Christian Theology of Religions"...
However, today my flute teacher told me a few books that I need to read so they'll be thrown in as well. First, a story I began today called "The Other Wise Man". He's interested in trying to write it musically, so we'll see if we can't do that after I read it through. "Christ Recrucified" I added to my list recently, and he mentioned it today, so I think I'll be reading that soon, as well. And then one called "Polly Anna" that I've never heard of.
So, that's what I'm reading in case you're wondering where these quotes are coming from.
All my love.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
"In the same fire gold gleams and straw smokes; under the same flail the stalk is crushed and the grain threshed; the lees are not mistaken for oil because they have issued from the same press.... under the weight of the same affliction the wicked deny and blaspheme God, and the good pray to Him and praise Him... The same shaking that makes fetid water stink makes perfume issue a more pleasant odor." - Saint Augustine
"But the true Gospel of Christ cannot be exterminated from any country - only God can remove it." - John Foxe
"And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say 'We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,' and the Lost, 'We were always in Hell.' And both will speak truly." - CS Lewis
" - no natural feelings are high or low, holy or unholy, in themselves. They are all holy when God's hand is on the rein. They all go bad when they set up on their own and make themselves into false gods... There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him. And the higher and mightier it is in the natural order, the more demoniac it will be if it rebels." - CS Lewis
Just some quotes from books I've been reading recently. I'll write more later on them, but tonight, I'm going to bed early. Tomorrow's Friday, and I hope that means a relaxing weekend is ahead.
I have my tickets to Chennai now. All that's left is me getting the taxi to Madurai and I'm set to come home. And that is something that can be arranged in a few weeks. Exciting! 28 days and I'll be in America.
Good night and sleep well everyone. I love you.
"But the true Gospel of Christ cannot be exterminated from any country - only God can remove it." - John Foxe
"And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say 'We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,' and the Lost, 'We were always in Hell.' And both will speak truly." - CS Lewis
" - no natural feelings are high or low, holy or unholy, in themselves. They are all holy when God's hand is on the rein. They all go bad when they set up on their own and make themselves into false gods... There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him. And the higher and mightier it is in the natural order, the more demoniac it will be if it rebels." - CS Lewis
Just some quotes from books I've been reading recently. I'll write more later on them, but tonight, I'm going to bed early. Tomorrow's Friday, and I hope that means a relaxing weekend is ahead.
I have my tickets to Chennai now. All that's left is me getting the taxi to Madurai and I'm set to come home. And that is something that can be arranged in a few weeks. Exciting! 28 days and I'll be in America.
Good night and sleep well everyone. I love you.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Tickets
On May 21st I will arrive back in America for the first time in over 10 months. I'm very excited about that. It should be very good to be home for a bit. I hope to get around and see as many people as I can and enjoy some good food before coming back to India again.
The school musical is over now, and I'm glad to have a break to rest. There are only two weeks left for me and I'll be done with my concerts and my first year teaching. That makes me really excited.
For now, I'm going to go and rest some more. I hope to have a lengthier blog for you later this week.
<3
The school musical is over now, and I'm glad to have a break to rest. There are only two weeks left for me and I'll be done with my concerts and my first year teaching. That makes me really excited.
For now, I'm going to go and rest some more. I hope to have a lengthier blog for you later this week.
<3
Monday, April 13, 2009
Weakness...
His power is made perfect in my weaknesses...
And they are many right now. I am emotionally and physically weak. In the past, I have normally been ill and had the philosophy "suffer in silence" and never really let anyone know until it got too bad for me to handle. When I moved here, I made a concerted effort to be open and honest in my relationships with people, and this includes when I'm not feeling well. When they ask how I am, answering honestly. But, at this point, I'm getting sick and tired of saying "well, I'm still sick, but what can you do?", and I'm fighting this battle within myself. It is NOT better to suffer alone. It is NOT better lie to people around you. It is NOT okay to pretend you are alright when you are not.
It is one thing to get up in the morning and get dressed and put on clothes you don't feel like wearing, and put on a jacket when you want a hoodie, and wear your hair down when you want a bun, so that you can command respect from your students, but when you can't be yourself with your friends, that's a whole different issue. But at this point, I want to be lying to myself, as well. I want to be saying "I'M FANTASTIC! HOW ARE YOU!!!" and running around being ME! I don't want to be sitting here in my office unable to focus because I have a headache and really don't want to go teach another two periods. Of band. ::sigh::
Emotionally, there's a lot going on. Besides my physical illness wearing down on me from all sides, I have other things coming up as well making me just want to scream. I want to crawl into my bed, face into my pillows, and scream the loudest scream ever. And then cry. Just let it out. I've been invited to visit Mike's grave by his mother many times since he passed, but now she is pushing even harder for me to come. It's just hard to deal with. I don't want to deal with it. Not right now.
I need to go plan. My next entry will be happier, I promise. I will will myself to get better, and this time, it will work. It has to. Everyone has to get better at some point, right?
And they are many right now. I am emotionally and physically weak. In the past, I have normally been ill and had the philosophy "suffer in silence" and never really let anyone know until it got too bad for me to handle. When I moved here, I made a concerted effort to be open and honest in my relationships with people, and this includes when I'm not feeling well. When they ask how I am, answering honestly. But, at this point, I'm getting sick and tired of saying "well, I'm still sick, but what can you do?", and I'm fighting this battle within myself. It is NOT better to suffer alone. It is NOT better lie to people around you. It is NOT okay to pretend you are alright when you are not.
It is one thing to get up in the morning and get dressed and put on clothes you don't feel like wearing, and put on a jacket when you want a hoodie, and wear your hair down when you want a bun, so that you can command respect from your students, but when you can't be yourself with your friends, that's a whole different issue. But at this point, I want to be lying to myself, as well. I want to be saying "I'M FANTASTIC! HOW ARE YOU!!!" and running around being ME! I don't want to be sitting here in my office unable to focus because I have a headache and really don't want to go teach another two periods. Of band. ::sigh::
Emotionally, there's a lot going on. Besides my physical illness wearing down on me from all sides, I have other things coming up as well making me just want to scream. I want to crawl into my bed, face into my pillows, and scream the loudest scream ever. And then cry. Just let it out. I've been invited to visit Mike's grave by his mother many times since he passed, but now she is pushing even harder for me to come. It's just hard to deal with. I don't want to deal with it. Not right now.
I need to go plan. My next entry will be happier, I promise. I will will myself to get better, and this time, it will work. It has to. Everyone has to get better at some point, right?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A different kind of weekend...
I spent this weekend in a local city about 4 hours away. On Saturday, I had an appointment at the hospital to get this illness sorted out that has been plaguing me for weeks now. It has honestly been a rough few weeks for me. For a while, I tried to pretend that it wasn't bothering me to see if it was in my head, but that just caused me to get worse, and resulted in me hitting my head. After about the 4th or 5th week like this, I went back to the school doctor and she sent me to a specialist in Coimbatore. I spent about 5 hours at the hospital and left with a diagnosis of "migraines". I had a CT scan and bloodwork done, so at least we know it's not too serious, but even with the new medicine, I'm still bothered by headaches and occassional bouts of dizziness (though not as bad as they've been in the past). They tend to get worse as I get more tired (so, later in the week, and later in the day), and medicine does not help them at all. In fact, no medicine I've encountered to this point helps. I honestly hate that in order to be honest to people, I have to say that I still have headaches. I wish that I was at the top of my game. But I'm not. I can normally muster up the energy to function around 80% for a whole school day, but after school is out, I'm gone. I would love to be back to 100%, or at 80% for 16 hours out of a day instead of 9 or 10. It really isolates me.
I've decided recently to make some changes to my daily schedule, and this includes putting in an hour that I do something for me. I compose for me. Read for me. Study something for me. Off the internet. Away from the world. An hour a day where no-one bothers me and it has nothing to do with work or any sort of "force".
So this is my life at the moment. We're getting down to the wire, and I have so much work to do. If you have a moment, please send up a prayer for these headaches to go away soon. I'd really appreciate that. Thanks guys!
I've decided recently to make some changes to my daily schedule, and this includes putting in an hour that I do something for me. I compose for me. Read for me. Study something for me. Off the internet. Away from the world. An hour a day where no-one bothers me and it has nothing to do with work or any sort of "force".
So this is my life at the moment. We're getting down to the wire, and I have so much work to do. If you have a moment, please send up a prayer for these headaches to go away soon. I'd really appreciate that. Thanks guys!
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