Invisible

I'm the invisible girl sitting in the middle of the floor in the middle of an airport.

I just made a realization:

I am SUPREMELY good at being invisible. I live my life in such a way that you (theoretical 'you' at this point) won't miss me when I'm gone. I love people with my whole being, but in the end, this makes it easier to say good bye. You only miss the idea of me once I'm gone. I was never really there to begin with, was I? I didn't make your life hinge on me. I didn't make you crave our togetherness. Ultimately, I know that that will end, so why make it great to begin with? I will do anything for you. Yet, you will never know too much about me. Why would you want to be attached to this, afterall?

So I've become good at weaving in and out. I show up unnoticed and I leave unnoticed. There isn't a big fanfare for me when I come, or when I go. Because, honestly, I do it often.

My whole life, I've traversed two worlds. My family and most of my heart in NY, and the rest of what's left in NC. Then it split into thirds when I left a huge chunk of me in NZ, but also grew in such a way that there was more to share. And now, I'm in fourths. But only so much so that no-one will really miss me. With me being spread all over the world (literally), how can you miss me? You can't know me in NC the way they do in NZ and NY and India. You can't know me in India they way they do in NC. But this has left me with a huge sense of want.

But that's okay. Because I pick up and go on. Having a knowledge that some people are incapable of grasping:

Life continues on without you. Always has, always will.

And now, I'm moving on.