Embrace....

... there are times when loneliness strikes... When you wonder about people at home. When you wish people were around to give you a hug, or just to see their face. Instead you get on facebook and pretend their pictures are looking back at you. You pretend they are there to give you advice or just to tell you some dumb joke.

And then you come back to reality where you're sitting in your office in India, grading papers and putting final grades into the computer so you can turn them in on time. Where you are fighting for your place and for respect. Where no-one knows you. Where when you need someone to understand, you don't have them, because pouring out your life story just so they can hug you the right way seems like too much.

So as I sit here, wishing I could see people at home and talk to them and, yes selfishly, wishing they wanted to see me, too, I remember that even if I don't have my friends and family at home, I have God. God's arms are around me all the time. He knows what He's doing even if I don't. He knows I feel lonely, and He's put wonderful people around me so that I have a reminder of Him. They may not know the whole story, but they know the me that is now, that is changing, that is growing, and that is more important than knowing my past.

I still wear the ring Mike gave me. I still can't bear to take it off. It will never be removed completely, just like his memory will always stay with me, but I know the time will come when it has to move to another hand. And that hurts. Saying goodbye "officially" is hard. And in time, I'll be strong enough to handle it.

::sigh::