So, most of you know that this transition has not been the easiest on me, but I've been handling it pretty well, taking everything one step at a time. Because of that, it hasn't been entirely too difficult.
However, as Christmas had drawn nearer, the differences have been stark. I only lived overseas for 3 years, but I have spent the last 4 Christmases overseas, with the same people every year. Get this straight: This is my first Christmas in America since 2006. That was seriously my last American Christmas, and I couldn't even tell you what I did for it. I have no idea. However, I can tell you exactly what I've done each of the last four...
This year's has been marked by HUGE differences. Overseas I spent time trying to figure out what people needed or wanted and I reveled in giving gifts that I knew would be appreciated. I LOVE giving gifts. If I had ever gone through the love languages, that's probably one of mine. That and words of affirmation. I love being able to give someone something they've wanted or needed. But I'm back in America and it's all very commercial again. It's all "what do you want?" or "But I asked for this..."... It's unfortunate. Even here, among some of my close friends, it's this idea of having to give gifts to people, no matter if you know what they want/need or not. It's a matter of duty, apparently.
I don't want to give a gift out of duty. I feel like that defeats the point. In fact, there are plenty of gifts that I want to give to people (though I literally have no money, like, actually). These people aren't necessarily those you'd assume. They are just people that have spoken positive words into my life over the past few months, or people that I see that need a little boost.
Duty does not speak to me. Love speaks to me.
And that's where the biggest different lies for me. It's a different mindset and it actually turns me away from Christmas. There is so much more to this season than the duty of gift giving. Even gift receiving for me is tainted. Of course there might be a novelty or two to ask for, but really, I don't want to make a list. In fact, I can't even think of enough for a list if you ask me. It might be an instance here or there where I think of something I want, but when it gets down to it, there's not a lot I need. My life is pretty comfortable.
I just don't want the duty. I want to be free to give from the heart, and I don't like when people EXPECT something because of that sense of duty. My duty at Christmas is not to give X,Y and Z certain presents that cost a certain amount of money. My duty is to spread joy, and spreading joy might not even include my name on the "from" tag... Recognition is not necessary. It is the joy of giving that drives the season, not the reciprocal nature everyone thinks. If I give a gift, I do not expect anything in return. It is different than the general culture. And I hope one day this is the culture that exists.
Hearing stories about things like strangers paying of layaway accounts gives me hope that there are people out there that know the reason for the season. We might be in a recession, but in a way, I think the hard times are when people support each other more because they know what it's like and are willing to help those who are worse off. When people are comfortable, they are in a bubble and it's harder to see the struggles others are having. I *love* that people are paying off layaways, or paying for people's items when their card is denied at the store. It is heartwarming. There is nothing to get in return.
And that, my friends, is Christmas. I hope this spreads. Then maybe I would feel like it's the holidays.
Until that day, I'll keep praying for the change, and thanking God for the people today who see the real meaning of Christmas and do something about it. They are not just saying it with their mouths, but they are DOING it. They are LIVING the meaning of Christmas.
Thank you, Lord, for those people!
Merry Christmas, everyone! I truly hope each and every one of you enjoys the time with your family and friends, and that you are able to be Jesus to someone this year. You might be the only light someone sees even (and especially) at this time of year.
I love you all!
However, as Christmas had drawn nearer, the differences have been stark. I only lived overseas for 3 years, but I have spent the last 4 Christmases overseas, with the same people every year. Get this straight: This is my first Christmas in America since 2006. That was seriously my last American Christmas, and I couldn't even tell you what I did for it. I have no idea. However, I can tell you exactly what I've done each of the last four...
This year's has been marked by HUGE differences. Overseas I spent time trying to figure out what people needed or wanted and I reveled in giving gifts that I knew would be appreciated. I LOVE giving gifts. If I had ever gone through the love languages, that's probably one of mine. That and words of affirmation. I love being able to give someone something they've wanted or needed. But I'm back in America and it's all very commercial again. It's all "what do you want?" or "But I asked for this..."... It's unfortunate. Even here, among some of my close friends, it's this idea of having to give gifts to people, no matter if you know what they want/need or not. It's a matter of duty, apparently.
I don't want to give a gift out of duty. I feel like that defeats the point. In fact, there are plenty of gifts that I want to give to people (though I literally have no money, like, actually). These people aren't necessarily those you'd assume. They are just people that have spoken positive words into my life over the past few months, or people that I see that need a little boost.
Duty does not speak to me. Love speaks to me.
And that's where the biggest different lies for me. It's a different mindset and it actually turns me away from Christmas. There is so much more to this season than the duty of gift giving. Even gift receiving for me is tainted. Of course there might be a novelty or two to ask for, but really, I don't want to make a list. In fact, I can't even think of enough for a list if you ask me. It might be an instance here or there where I think of something I want, but when it gets down to it, there's not a lot I need. My life is pretty comfortable.
I just don't want the duty. I want to be free to give from the heart, and I don't like when people EXPECT something because of that sense of duty. My duty at Christmas is not to give X,Y and Z certain presents that cost a certain amount of money. My duty is to spread joy, and spreading joy might not even include my name on the "from" tag... Recognition is not necessary. It is the joy of giving that drives the season, not the reciprocal nature everyone thinks. If I give a gift, I do not expect anything in return. It is different than the general culture. And I hope one day this is the culture that exists.
Hearing stories about things like strangers paying of layaway accounts gives me hope that there are people out there that know the reason for the season. We might be in a recession, but in a way, I think the hard times are when people support each other more because they know what it's like and are willing to help those who are worse off. When people are comfortable, they are in a bubble and it's harder to see the struggles others are having. I *love* that people are paying off layaways, or paying for people's items when their card is denied at the store. It is heartwarming. There is nothing to get in return.
And that, my friends, is Christmas. I hope this spreads. Then maybe I would feel like it's the holidays.
Until that day, I'll keep praying for the change, and thanking God for the people today who see the real meaning of Christmas and do something about it. They are not just saying it with their mouths, but they are DOING it. They are LIVING the meaning of Christmas.
Thank you, Lord, for those people!
Merry Christmas, everyone! I truly hope each and every one of you enjoys the time with your family and friends, and that you are able to be Jesus to someone this year. You might be the only light someone sees even (and especially) at this time of year.
I love you all!
1 comment:
I could not agree with you more! I have not celebrated Christmas in seven years. And this year I have spent bukoos of time researching where our modern christmas comes from and have been fascinated to find that most of what occurs during and most of what you see pertaining to christmas come from pagan religions. I do not actively celebrate the christmas that is celebrated in America. BUT, I still find myself celebrating, on the inside. On my own, in my own way; having my own thoughts on what, not this time of year, but rather, what exactly Jesus' life on earth meant and how I can better my relationship with God, and what I can do for those around me. While I do not celebrate christmas with those around me, since there is still a spirit of giving about, if I had money at this time of the year I would give gifts, but exactly the way you wrote. I hope you can create a happy christmas for yourself this year!
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