I am not good with time, on multiple levels.
In general, I'm very good at being very busy - with filling up my time.
More specifically - I don't know what to do with time when it's not filled up.
So let's step back for a second...
My first semester of grad school I took classes and did work/study for about 10 hours a week. Second semester I began working another part time job on top of it. By second year I was continuing both of those and doing an internship that was around 20 hours a week. By the time I graduated, I was working full time, working part time (NOT work/study after a while), going to school full time, and still, kind of, an intern.
My schedule was 8-8 Monday - Thursday, 8-3 on Friday, and varied on Sunday. My weekends were spent trying to be social, fit people in, study groups, and just do my homework for the coming week because there was very little time to do it on the actual week days.
Then, graduation came... and around that time, my part time job ended for the summer... Now I was only working ONE job. When this happened in the December prior, I picked up guitar because I was just plumb bored. I also read a number of books. So, the end of May comes, graduation festivities fade away.... and I am only working full time and still a "sort of" intern, on occasion. But I also knew I was job searching, I had trips I wanted to go on, and people to see before they moved away or I did, whichever came first. Also, the dreaded packing. I knew I was moving at some point, my lease was up, and I was going *somewhere* regardless of a new job or not.
So, my summer even, was crazy. It would seem it shouldn't be, but there are a lot of things that happened in those couple months, including being ordained, and then receiving and accepting a call to a new position...
So, I moved mid-August and started soon after. The first couple weeks were spent unpacking, getting the apartment situated, trying to orient myself to the stores, the job, the people... Just trying to find a balance.
Once all of that sort of settled, and it stopped raining, we had things going on - a Saturday became filled with a project, I missed a day off here, worked a couple extra hours there... Decided with this new place I need to be productive and I've got to stop babying my ankle (that I broke right before graduation, thanks very much world), and I joined a gym here. My ankle can't sustain a lot still so that bothers me, but otherwise, it's doing alright. I just have to be careful...
And then I have weeks like this week where I look at my calendar and realize that I will, once again, not have a true day off (by choice and for good reasons, for sure!), and I have evening events the second half of the week.....
But today, as I looked at my calendar, I said, "I'm going to be here a lot this week. Today, I will leave an hour early and head to the gym..."
And I did.
It was good, but my ankle gave me some grief annoying it yesterday, and I came home. I was home by 4:30pm, put in laundry, cooked dinner, ate, and it's not even 7 yet, and I'm done for the night.
Now, granted, my social life hasn't rebounded yet... for this introvert of massive proportions was spoiled by my friends further south into being a safe place to be a social introvert... I don't have that yet here, I'm still sometimes in the "dear in the headlights" phase...
But I'm wondering what to do with "time"... You see, finally, I'm sitting still again. Finally, I'm in place again. Finally, I'm feeling like I'm doing what I should be doing, and like I have a brain. Finally, like there's a purpose or direction for the stuff I'm pulling together.
But I get home, and that part is more, "Okay, I shall watch a movie tonight," or "I'm going to read another chapter in that BBT book..."... Granted, I could always read more, I love to read... and I've spent some quality time creating, which is always fun for me... But there's this social aspect that I'm missing, that even overseas I had. I know it takes time. I'll work on that. And I'm going to enjoy this time, too, because I know there will be weeks (ask me Friday), when I'll think, "I haven't had time to myself in a while..."
And it's all okay. But it's got me thinking about time. It's abundance and it's brevity.
And a God-moment that happened today... that even though someone says "don't overwork," I see as an opportunity to do something else; the chance to reach out in another way. And right now, when overwork is a different concept for me (can I remind you again how freeing a 50 hour week is after so many weeks of almost 70????), I want to enjoy it and explore more things.
So I shall. I'll at least explore it, and if it's something I can't do, I won't do it... but the timing was just right today, and it deserves at least a look...
Onwards now... as it is almost 7... Perhaps I shall clean tonight, too... or not. I'll need something to do tomorrow...
;-)
Also, I've been having a terrible time sleeping - that does not help me with my time management or perception of time... ::sigh:: 3 hours is not enough!
Restless much?
Wondering what words I'm not hearing that are keeping me up and/or waking me up?
But that's another entry, don't you think?
In general, I'm very good at being very busy - with filling up my time.
More specifically - I don't know what to do with time when it's not filled up.
So let's step back for a second...
My first semester of grad school I took classes and did work/study for about 10 hours a week. Second semester I began working another part time job on top of it. By second year I was continuing both of those and doing an internship that was around 20 hours a week. By the time I graduated, I was working full time, working part time (NOT work/study after a while), going to school full time, and still, kind of, an intern.
My schedule was 8-8 Monday - Thursday, 8-3 on Friday, and varied on Sunday. My weekends were spent trying to be social, fit people in, study groups, and just do my homework for the coming week because there was very little time to do it on the actual week days.
Then, graduation came... and around that time, my part time job ended for the summer... Now I was only working ONE job. When this happened in the December prior, I picked up guitar because I was just plumb bored. I also read a number of books. So, the end of May comes, graduation festivities fade away.... and I am only working full time and still a "sort of" intern, on occasion. But I also knew I was job searching, I had trips I wanted to go on, and people to see before they moved away or I did, whichever came first. Also, the dreaded packing. I knew I was moving at some point, my lease was up, and I was going *somewhere* regardless of a new job or not.
So, my summer even, was crazy. It would seem it shouldn't be, but there are a lot of things that happened in those couple months, including being ordained, and then receiving and accepting a call to a new position...
So, I moved mid-August and started soon after. The first couple weeks were spent unpacking, getting the apartment situated, trying to orient myself to the stores, the job, the people... Just trying to find a balance.
Once all of that sort of settled, and it stopped raining, we had things going on - a Saturday became filled with a project, I missed a day off here, worked a couple extra hours there... Decided with this new place I need to be productive and I've got to stop babying my ankle (that I broke right before graduation, thanks very much world), and I joined a gym here. My ankle can't sustain a lot still so that bothers me, but otherwise, it's doing alright. I just have to be careful...
And then I have weeks like this week where I look at my calendar and realize that I will, once again, not have a true day off (by choice and for good reasons, for sure!), and I have evening events the second half of the week.....
But today, as I looked at my calendar, I said, "I'm going to be here a lot this week. Today, I will leave an hour early and head to the gym..."
And I did.
It was good, but my ankle gave me some grief annoying it yesterday, and I came home. I was home by 4:30pm, put in laundry, cooked dinner, ate, and it's not even 7 yet, and I'm done for the night.
Now, granted, my social life hasn't rebounded yet... for this introvert of massive proportions was spoiled by my friends further south into being a safe place to be a social introvert... I don't have that yet here, I'm still sometimes in the "dear in the headlights" phase...
But I'm wondering what to do with "time"... You see, finally, I'm sitting still again. Finally, I'm in place again. Finally, I'm feeling like I'm doing what I should be doing, and like I have a brain. Finally, like there's a purpose or direction for the stuff I'm pulling together.
But I get home, and that part is more, "Okay, I shall watch a movie tonight," or "I'm going to read another chapter in that BBT book..."... Granted, I could always read more, I love to read... and I've spent some quality time creating, which is always fun for me... But there's this social aspect that I'm missing, that even overseas I had. I know it takes time. I'll work on that. And I'm going to enjoy this time, too, because I know there will be weeks (ask me Friday), when I'll think, "I haven't had time to myself in a while..."
And it's all okay. But it's got me thinking about time. It's abundance and it's brevity.
And a God-moment that happened today... that even though someone says "don't overwork," I see as an opportunity to do something else; the chance to reach out in another way. And right now, when overwork is a different concept for me (can I remind you again how freeing a 50 hour week is after so many weeks of almost 70????), I want to enjoy it and explore more things.
So I shall. I'll at least explore it, and if it's something I can't do, I won't do it... but the timing was just right today, and it deserves at least a look...
Onwards now... as it is almost 7... Perhaps I shall clean tonight, too... or not. I'll need something to do tomorrow...
;-)
Also, I've been having a terrible time sleeping - that does not help me with my time management or perception of time... ::sigh:: 3 hours is not enough!
Restless much?
Wondering what words I'm not hearing that are keeping me up and/or waking me up?
But that's another entry, don't you think?
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