So, I find that, since being back, there is a lot I want to write about (but now struggle with finding the time), but I think it has a lot to do with being in a season of being fed.
Overseas, it can be difficult to always be fed. To hear new information to work with, and to keep yourself up.
Well, now I'm being force-fed a whole bunch of new information and it gives me so much new meat to chew that it is almost too much sometimes! And I'm not even close to kidding. I have insane amounts of work to do (this week, I think I will turn in 18 pages of writing), and I have to sleep.
But I really enjoy it! The information, at least, not necessarily the work load. I am reading Genesis, reading Augustine, reading the founders of the Baptist tradition, and I am CRACKING UP! Not even close to being a joke. I truly believe that there are amazing moments of comedy in the Bible and that Biblical scholars are no better... In fact, their commentary sometimes just makes the moments in the Bible that more absurd! (Take for example the story of Essau and Jacob. The commentator said: "How hairy was Essau that goat skin felt the same as he did?"...) Seriously?
Or even, this exchange of treatises(writings) in early America between Roger Williams(Baptist, and defender of religious liberty) and John Cotton (supporter/defender of Standing Order, aka: trying to make a state church like they had in England):
RW (1644): The Bloudy Tenent of Persecution for Cause of Conscience Discussed
JC (1647): The Bloudy Tenent, Washed, and Made White in the Bloud of the Lamb
RW (1652): The Bloudy Tenent, yet More Bloudy: By Mr Cottons Endeavor to Wash It White in the Bloud of the Lambe
How can you NOT laugh at that?
Or even this passage after Rachel stole the idols from her father's house before she fled with Leah and Jacob:
Gen 31:34-35 (Laban is in Jacob's camp looking for his idols that he is SURE someone took from him): Rachel, meanwhile, had taken the idols and placed them in the camel cushion and sat on them; and Laban rummaged through the tent without finding them. For she said to her father, "Let not my lord take it amiss that I cannot rise before you, for the period of women is upon me." Thus he searched, but could not find the household idols.
Seriously?!
How can you not find humor and just pure outrageousness in the Bible? I'm not trying to sound heretical or anything, but it's interesting to read it with certain inputs that spin the story just a little bit and bring out to you the things you haven't noticed before. To take it slowly and really read the words and commentary on it and see just how absurd a situation actually is. It's very interesting.
And in fact, I'm going to have to go on and do some more homework... I have a lot to do before Thursday but just wanted to take a moment and write an entry.
Another day, another time, I'll have more to say.
Peace!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Birthrights....
So, my old computer is updating and installing a new anti-virus, so I have some time... there is no guarantee that it will start after this reboot, but we'll try... (This is why I had to buy a new computer in mid-July. The old one just can't decide if it's going to work at any given time.) Why am I putting up with this nonsense for hours on end for the past few nights? O, because there is a $600 piece of software (well, two of them) on that Windows based machine that I need to use for a project for one of my jobs. So I'm trying to get it working long enough to get the task done...
So I'll write on this topic that came to me earlier today.
I'm reading this book called Let Your Life Speak, and in one of the chapters, he is talking about birthrights. We are born into a birthright, in the sense that we are born with gifts that are going to be used in our vocation. Notice, this word is not OCCUPATION. In our vocation, our gifts are of the utmost importance and used to the best of their ability.
Being at school has made me realize (as if I didn't already know this, but it confirms it even more) how indebted I am to the childhood I had. I have always known it was a fantastic childhood (with the exception of a few things). I was truly blessed by my family and the community I was born into (both as a town and as a church).
In the book, the author talks about being born into a birthright, and then, throughout time, people take and mold you into something else, whether by design or not. Eventually, you either learn to live with your lesser self, or you become so disillusioned with it that you then go searching for what your vocation was supposed to be. Drawing on the experiences and activities that you enjoyed when you were a child.
Well, the first 11 years of my life were amazing. I knew who I was, what my place was, what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I was fully supported by those around me. When people talked to me, they didn't try to change me. I had a community around me that was uplifting and caring. There were people that completely loved me for me.
Is it any wonder that, as an adult, I want to be back there? Is that really a surprise? People say you can't go back to where you came from. And in the sense that the place isn't going to be the same, that is true. However, for me, that was my 'happy place' and being back there still makes me happy. It is a slower pace of life, much like the life I lived overseas. It is based around the people close to you. It is a place that is just awesome all around.
My birthright left when I left that place. It took a long time for me to find it again. Thankfully I found it earlier rather than later. I just wish I had never lost it.
I can go back to where I'm from. It's different, but it's the same. It's family.
So I'll write on this topic that came to me earlier today.
I'm reading this book called Let Your Life Speak, and in one of the chapters, he is talking about birthrights. We are born into a birthright, in the sense that we are born with gifts that are going to be used in our vocation. Notice, this word is not OCCUPATION. In our vocation, our gifts are of the utmost importance and used to the best of their ability.
Being at school has made me realize (as if I didn't already know this, but it confirms it even more) how indebted I am to the childhood I had. I have always known it was a fantastic childhood (with the exception of a few things). I was truly blessed by my family and the community I was born into (both as a town and as a church).
In the book, the author talks about being born into a birthright, and then, throughout time, people take and mold you into something else, whether by design or not. Eventually, you either learn to live with your lesser self, or you become so disillusioned with it that you then go searching for what your vocation was supposed to be. Drawing on the experiences and activities that you enjoyed when you were a child.
Well, the first 11 years of my life were amazing. I knew who I was, what my place was, what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I was fully supported by those around me. When people talked to me, they didn't try to change me. I had a community around me that was uplifting and caring. There were people that completely loved me for me.
Is it any wonder that, as an adult, I want to be back there? Is that really a surprise? People say you can't go back to where you came from. And in the sense that the place isn't going to be the same, that is true. However, for me, that was my 'happy place' and being back there still makes me happy. It is a slower pace of life, much like the life I lived overseas. It is based around the people close to you. It is a place that is just awesome all around.
My birthright left when I left that place. It took a long time for me to find it again. Thankfully I found it earlier rather than later. I just wish I had never lost it.
I can go back to where I'm from. It's different, but it's the same. It's family.
Monday, September 5, 2011
My ayah...
Well, obviously not *my* ayah anymore, but still...
There have been a few times at night, when I'm closing up the house getting ready to go to bed, when I'll have the thought "I should go do XXXX so that Mary can find it tomorrow" or "I really need to organize this so it's not so hard for Mary in the morning" or even "I need to leave a note for Mary. I just don't have the time to do it myself!!!"....
The conversation in my head normally goes as follows:
Ummm, girl, you don't have an ayah anymore.....
O. That's right. I'll just put this down then, and do it in the morning.
HA! It's funny how things stick in your head sometimes. I never thought I'd grow accustomed to having a maid, nor come to depend on her so much. Thankfully, though, I did enough myself that I have not forgotten all of my skills, and I stay up with my dishes and laundry and grocery shopping all on my own. Though, sometimes, it'll be a day or two late... But that's okay. The convenience of Mary being around was great, and she really helped me in a place where doing everything yourself is not always possible. Sometimes, I wish I could have brought her with me! That's okay, though. My house is not a mess. I can do all my own laundry. And lo and behold!!! The laundry can be finished on the same day it is washed!!! Who would have thought that was possible? I mean, washed, dried, folded and put away!!! NO WAY!!!
It's true, though. It really is. I wouldn't joke about such things.
It took me awhile to get used to the sounds of the language where I used to live. But once I did, learning the words became a lot easier. However, now they are slipping out of my head. I have to sit and think "What was that word, again???"... and hope that it pops into my head at some point in the near future before I forget what word I'm trying to think of...
And now I'm learning ANOTHER language. This time, though, I'm learning it properly. And it's not a spoken language (though we will be reading it), but written. I am writing new letters, and doing it formally. Lessons. Learning the alphabet. Memorizing things. This is not hob-nobbed like I've learned previous languages (with the exception of latin). I haven't learned a single word in 3 lessons. I don't have a post-it note on my table with the word "anja" on it, and the definition. Mind you, the definition of "anja" varies based on which language you are learning it in. But still. I don't know if learning the language properly will be easier or harder than trying to learn the colloquial language where I used to live. I hope, though, that the time in this class continues to pass as fast as it has been. I feel as if the class time needs to double just so I understand more (though I really enjoy finishing class by 2pm!!)...
I miss my ayah.
There have been a few times at night, when I'm closing up the house getting ready to go to bed, when I'll have the thought "I should go do XXXX so that Mary can find it tomorrow" or "I really need to organize this so it's not so hard for Mary in the morning" or even "I need to leave a note for Mary. I just don't have the time to do it myself!!!"....
The conversation in my head normally goes as follows:
Ummm, girl, you don't have an ayah anymore.....
O. That's right. I'll just put this down then, and do it in the morning.
HA! It's funny how things stick in your head sometimes. I never thought I'd grow accustomed to having a maid, nor come to depend on her so much. Thankfully, though, I did enough myself that I have not forgotten all of my skills, and I stay up with my dishes and laundry and grocery shopping all on my own. Though, sometimes, it'll be a day or two late... But that's okay. The convenience of Mary being around was great, and she really helped me in a place where doing everything yourself is not always possible. Sometimes, I wish I could have brought her with me! That's okay, though. My house is not a mess. I can do all my own laundry. And lo and behold!!! The laundry can be finished on the same day it is washed!!! Who would have thought that was possible? I mean, washed, dried, folded and put away!!! NO WAY!!!
It's true, though. It really is. I wouldn't joke about such things.
It took me awhile to get used to the sounds of the language where I used to live. But once I did, learning the words became a lot easier. However, now they are slipping out of my head. I have to sit and think "What was that word, again???"... and hope that it pops into my head at some point in the near future before I forget what word I'm trying to think of...
And now I'm learning ANOTHER language. This time, though, I'm learning it properly. And it's not a spoken language (though we will be reading it), but written. I am writing new letters, and doing it formally. Lessons. Learning the alphabet. Memorizing things. This is not hob-nobbed like I've learned previous languages (with the exception of latin). I haven't learned a single word in 3 lessons. I don't have a post-it note on my table with the word "anja" on it, and the definition. Mind you, the definition of "anja" varies based on which language you are learning it in. But still. I don't know if learning the language properly will be easier or harder than trying to learn the colloquial language where I used to live. I hope, though, that the time in this class continues to pass as fast as it has been. I feel as if the class time needs to double just so I understand more (though I really enjoy finishing class by 2pm!!)...
I miss my ayah.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Time to pray...
Well, actually, that should probably be my title for another entry that is currently sitting in a word document on my desktop because it's not finished yet... but still...
I say it's time to pray because today, I finished my orientation for DivSchool. The orientation itself was great, and the other students that came were very helpful, and I really enjoyed myself. However, it also leaves me in this place where I'm like "AHH!! Can I do this????"...
I'm still short on my medical forms. Praying UNCG does my records quickly so I can go ahead and get that behind me. And then it's time for books and such. Bought some that I'll need the very first day, but then I'll have a whole bunch more to buy after that.
AND, I have papers due the first day of class. ::sigh:: I don't know why I'm doing this or even if I'm capable of doing this. It's going to take a lot of planning. I love where I live, but I wonder if commuting is just going to make it that much more difficult, you know?
But really. It doesn't seem like a lot, but who really knows until I'm in there.
My schedule is like this:
MWF: Hebrew
T/Th: OT Interpretation, Art of MInistry, History of Christianity, History of Baptists
That's it. It's the two history classes that I think will honestly have the most work in them. Baptist History isn't an examination class, but it does require papers for every meeting.
It's time for me to buy a bigger calendar.
Pray for me as I begin this journey. In the next couple days I will finish up the entry on prayer that I have, and I will share that with you all, as well.
I say it's time to pray because today, I finished my orientation for DivSchool. The orientation itself was great, and the other students that came were very helpful, and I really enjoyed myself. However, it also leaves me in this place where I'm like "AHH!! Can I do this????"...
I'm still short on my medical forms. Praying UNCG does my records quickly so I can go ahead and get that behind me. And then it's time for books and such. Bought some that I'll need the very first day, but then I'll have a whole bunch more to buy after that.
AND, I have papers due the first day of class. ::sigh:: I don't know why I'm doing this or even if I'm capable of doing this. It's going to take a lot of planning. I love where I live, but I wonder if commuting is just going to make it that much more difficult, you know?
But really. It doesn't seem like a lot, but who really knows until I'm in there.
My schedule is like this:
MWF: Hebrew
T/Th: OT Interpretation, Art of MInistry, History of Christianity, History of Baptists
That's it. It's the two history classes that I think will honestly have the most work in them. Baptist History isn't an examination class, but it does require papers for every meeting.
It's time for me to buy a bigger calendar.
Pray for me as I begin this journey. In the next couple days I will finish up the entry on prayer that I have, and I will share that with you all, as well.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Different
You know, there are a lot of devotionals out there. A lot of people who are reading the Word and then sharing what they've read. People who remind us of the truths presented throughout those pages.
I want this blog to be different. Of course, I'm always reflecting on what I'm learning and reading and the truths of God, but I want people to see the real struggles and joys of life in this blog. I'm not "better than" anyone else, I'm just a person. And *this* person, when feeling really down, can even be DIScouraged by someone just quoting lines to me. I need to know that I'm not alone. Don't act high and mighty, act like a person. So I'm going to act like a person. I don't want to be "preachy". I want to be REAL. The world needs more real.
I have internet now at my house. This is really the first fully available, strong, reliable internet that I've had since my return from overseas. Now, I can get back to writing.
:-)
I want this blog to be different. Of course, I'm always reflecting on what I'm learning and reading and the truths of God, but I want people to see the real struggles and joys of life in this blog. I'm not "better than" anyone else, I'm just a person. And *this* person, when feeling really down, can even be DIScouraged by someone just quoting lines to me. I need to know that I'm not alone. Don't act high and mighty, act like a person. So I'm going to act like a person. I don't want to be "preachy". I want to be REAL. The world needs more real.
I have internet now at my house. This is really the first fully available, strong, reliable internet that I've had since my return from overseas. Now, I can get back to writing.
:-)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Home away from home away from home...
So, life is complicated. It always has been and always will be. But WHY? That is really the question. I really wonder why it is more complicated than it seems it should be. Is it the government? Is it nosy people? Is it taxes? Is it the internet? I don't know why, but I do know that there are certain longings in my heart that most things can't help with.
What are the longings of my heart?
-To spend more time with my family. Having daily life with them and enjoying eachother's company.
-To be in SE Asia. God really placed this country on my heart and it is hard for me to not be jealous when I hear of people who are going over, are over there, or live there. I want to be there. I want to keep serving.
-I want to help. I want to use the gifts God has given me and help people. Whether that is helping someone laugh today who hasn't, or making dinner for someone. I just want to help.
-I want money to grow on trees. That's the truth. :-)
I'm sitting in my home away from home away from home away... well, it could keep going. Technically, the house I am sitting in right now was my first home when I was a baby. That's funny when I think about it. I'm sitting here, enjoying a quiet day at the house because it is too hot outside to do anything. I have the pleasure of having the a/c run around me all day to keep me cool. I have clean water to drink. It is not complicated or a life-changing decision for me to take out a box of mac and cheese and make it with my cousin. But man, I sit here LONGING to be overseas, where things seemed so much more complicated, but were really just more simple. I enjoy the simple life.
When I return south, I will be moving into my own place. I will have somewhere to live for what I hope to be the next three years of my life. A place to come home to at the end of the day. I place to welcome other people and share my life with them, and them to share their lives with me. It's hard to compare my "first home" to the home I'm moving into now. My first home had cement walls, a gas stove, an electric oven, a small fridge, a tin roof, and a steel pot belly used to heat the house. I'm moving into a place that has real walls, power, clean water... and I want the simple. The simple is so annoying when you're trying to bake cookies and power goes out, or you're trying to take a shower... It's annoying when all of a sudden it starts raining and the hole in your roof continues to grow... but man, life was so much simpler.
I'm in my first home, thinking of MY first home... and preparing to move into another home... it's a crazy feeling.
This summer has been amazing. I have enjoyed the time with family SO much. They have really made what could have been a long and boring summer fun and exciting. It is ending too quickly. In a week and a half I will be back down south, moving my stuff, and wishing I could spend just one more day with my sister... one more afternoon with my cousin... one more evening with my aunt and uncle... another morning with my father... You don't get to do this often, but I'm glad I had the time this summer to do it.
Home is a good place. No matter where it is.
O, and did I mention that I miss Asia?
What are the longings of my heart?
-To spend more time with my family. Having daily life with them and enjoying eachother's company.
-To be in SE Asia. God really placed this country on my heart and it is hard for me to not be jealous when I hear of people who are going over, are over there, or live there. I want to be there. I want to keep serving.
-I want to help. I want to use the gifts God has given me and help people. Whether that is helping someone laugh today who hasn't, or making dinner for someone. I just want to help.
-I want money to grow on trees. That's the truth. :-)
I'm sitting in my home away from home away from home away... well, it could keep going. Technically, the house I am sitting in right now was my first home when I was a baby. That's funny when I think about it. I'm sitting here, enjoying a quiet day at the house because it is too hot outside to do anything. I have the pleasure of having the a/c run around me all day to keep me cool. I have clean water to drink. It is not complicated or a life-changing decision for me to take out a box of mac and cheese and make it with my cousin. But man, I sit here LONGING to be overseas, where things seemed so much more complicated, but were really just more simple. I enjoy the simple life.
When I return south, I will be moving into my own place. I will have somewhere to live for what I hope to be the next three years of my life. A place to come home to at the end of the day. I place to welcome other people and share my life with them, and them to share their lives with me. It's hard to compare my "first home" to the home I'm moving into now. My first home had cement walls, a gas stove, an electric oven, a small fridge, a tin roof, and a steel pot belly used to heat the house. I'm moving into a place that has real walls, power, clean water... and I want the simple. The simple is so annoying when you're trying to bake cookies and power goes out, or you're trying to take a shower... It's annoying when all of a sudden it starts raining and the hole in your roof continues to grow... but man, life was so much simpler.
I'm in my first home, thinking of MY first home... and preparing to move into another home... it's a crazy feeling.
This summer has been amazing. I have enjoyed the time with family SO much. They have really made what could have been a long and boring summer fun and exciting. It is ending too quickly. In a week and a half I will be back down south, moving my stuff, and wishing I could spend just one more day with my sister... one more afternoon with my cousin... one more evening with my aunt and uncle... another morning with my father... You don't get to do this often, but I'm glad I had the time this summer to do it.
Home is a good place. No matter where it is.
O, and did I mention that I miss Asia?
Monday, June 6, 2011
Stories, stories, stories...
So, I've been back for a few days now (probably about 9 or 10), and MAN! I could tell you some stories. I've had some freak-out, anxious, happy, sad, down-right depressed, and even ecstatic moments... It's been a whirl-wind to say the least.
One of the things that helped me last week, though, was a devotional that just hit me where I needed it and said to just do what God was calling you to do. He told me to go to seminary, so that's what I'm doing. There will be rough times, but they will get better. America is so much more different than what I remember, and that's probably more because I have changed, rather than it has changed. (However, I think the debit cards on snack machines are new. I have NEVER seen that before!)
I have been driving again, and I realized just how MUCH I missed that. It has been great to drive again (paying for gas, however, is NOT great).
I will be moving into my own place in August, and I'm really excited about that, but a little appalled at how much things cost... that is not going to be fun!! However, I *DO* like decorating, and have already been planning everything.
I'm going to head off for now, but expect some stories at various points of time. They WILL be coming.
One of the things that helped me last week, though, was a devotional that just hit me where I needed it and said to just do what God was calling you to do. He told me to go to seminary, so that's what I'm doing. There will be rough times, but they will get better. America is so much more different than what I remember, and that's probably more because I have changed, rather than it has changed. (However, I think the debit cards on snack machines are new. I have NEVER seen that before!)
I have been driving again, and I realized just how MUCH I missed that. It has been great to drive again (paying for gas, however, is NOT great).
I will be moving into my own place in August, and I'm really excited about that, but a little appalled at how much things cost... that is not going to be fun!! However, I *DO* like decorating, and have already been planning everything.
I'm going to head off for now, but expect some stories at various points of time. They WILL be coming.
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