Same God: New Ideas, New Images

So, I've been in the process recently of getting things together for an art class. This is not an art class where we sit around and try to create the best piece of art, or judge each other. We are not seeking to put our pieces on the wall, or display them in the church. What we are seeking, though, is to find God in ourselves, in our experiences, and to take time to be mindful of our lives and experiences. The idea is to step away and explore for just a little while in a safe place. Practices of discernment and the examen will be present in our meetings, and I'm excited to offer this to those around me.

One of the reasons this has come back to me over and over again even if it's not typical of the community I'm involved in, is that it is an area we neglect often times. It is easy to get too heady and to not create spaces to allow God to be found inside ourselves. To see where God is working, has worked, and will continue to work through us.

One of the things we need for the class are books and quotes that are inspirational to the various members of the class. Because I don't know what people read, if they have anything ready, I am asking for your help. What are quotes that have inspired you? Are there books that were particularly meaningful on your journey through life? Maybe there are books of quotations or poems that would serve our purposes.... Please be sure to leave them in the comments or e-mail them to me! I would love to be able to purchase some of these resources for us to use over and over again. (Also, think of books for children, since one of the groups will be for young kids.)

I'm excited to explore God with the people in my community. I'm also excited to expand my own views. Groups like this encourage learning and experiencing together. And there are many things like this group that I'd love to see in our community. Things that bring us away from our everyday lives to live in community.

I leave you with this quote that has been challenging and inspiring me recently:

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
~Mother Teresa

May we all live into this quote and the expanses opened to us. 

(Don't forget to leave quotes or resources!)

Help Me Be: Praying in Poems

by Dale C. Frederickson

I got a new book in the mail today, and as is the case when I'm excited to get a book, I opened it, took it out at began to read. I was especially excited for this book because it speaks my language: poetry. I often use it to express myself when prose or speaking just won't work and I find it extremely emotionally evocative.

Now, unfortunately, some of the poems didn't sit right with me today. But that could be more telling of my own emotional state than the quality of the poetry. I can read a poem one day and love it, and read it a week later and find it "trite." That is the nature of poetry. It speaks when it needs to speak. That is why there are 150 different chapters in Psalms: enough word and emotion for the infinite spectrum that exists.

I will leave you with an excerpt from one of the poems. Head on over to Amazon and check out the rest of the book.

Stuck(excerpt)

You feel stuck? 

Unable to do the things you want to do, 

Unable to be the person that you want to be, 

Unable to live the vision that you see. 

Nothing is easy. 

You start to face this. 

You learn to embrace this. 

You trust the grace in this. 

You see beyond sticky places. 

Somehow, someway, slowdown, make way, subtlety, not today, 

You'll learn new moves, 

Find those new grooves, 

Your life improves.

I believe in you. 

Do you believe in you? 

One day, somehow, someway, transparently, I know, you will be - 

FREE.

Able to do the things you want to do, 

Able to be the person you want to be, 

Able to live the vision that you see.

Eternal Sunrise

I was re-reading my last entry and had an epiphany.

I chose a gmail ID intentionally almost 6 years ago. It is Eternal Sunrise. It was a reminder to myself that the sun is always rising somewhere.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

There always is.

I'm hoping a vacation may be just what I need to revamp myself just a little bit.

Nothing too insightful tonight. Just a reminder in case you need it: The sun is always rising somewhere. There is light. Light will come.

Frustration

I have found myself more than a little frustrated in the last couple weeks. Perhaps that is why I haven't written, but I'm not convinced. All I know is that this frustration has manifested itself in me and I don't like it.

You see, for a bit over a year I've been trying to get my health back to where I am at least comfortable, and it seems that every time I see the sun rising something else gets in the way and keeps me from seeing the light. Like a few days ago... I'd been doing alright and was even allowed the opportunity to go out of town for the weekend and go kayaking on the river. I was ecstatic at the chance to finally do something. But by Wednesday I was realizing how tired I was and noticed some things that were not quite right. I called the doctor and we made a plan to address it. Thankfully, it was nothing too serious, but even now it is still unexplained. We don't know why things changed so suddenly other than the fact that maybe I was just too tired and my body couldn't keep up...

You see, I have to be so careful with everything I do right now. Literally everything. And it wears on you. But I do it.

In the meantime, I try to make plans for the future, whether that is a job, a trip, a move... but always in the back of my head is the fact that anything can change at any time for any (or no) reason. And that's much harder to live with, I think, than anything else.

Maybe my frustration is at the fact that my landlord has decided to sell the place where I live at the most inopportune moment ever. I mean, during finals, right before a trip to see my family... really?! It was one thing to entertain moving when it was purely by choice, but it's another when there's a deadline and an absolute surety.

Maybe my frustration is stemming out of the fact that I feel called to do so much more than I'm doing. It may seem like I work a lot right now (some days it can definitely seem that way), but in all honestly, I've been working less in these last two years since being home than I have at any point since graduating high school. I'm used to doing things, and I enjoy working. I enjoy having tasks, having challenges in front of me to figure out, and to come up with new ideas. I enjoy these things. And that is not even a little bit of a joke.

Maybe my frustration stems out of my own critical nature. I have a problem when it comes to expectations. I expect people to rise to the occasion and get the job done. Perhaps that comes from my upbringing. I can't be more thankful for being taught the lesson, "Every time you get bucked off and get back on makes you a better rider" literally. I can count on one hand how many times I was bucked off, and you better believe every time I got right back on. Fear was not allowed. The phrase "cowgirl/boy up" was lived out in my upbringing. Challenges were welcomed and overcome. Every day of my young life was spent working with animals much bigger than me, forging that relationship, and respecting their power. There was so much I was taught, but I'm thinking that is for another entry...

Let's just say that frustration has been running rampant... and this frustration has seeped through the cracks into many areas of my life. There is one thing in particular that irks me more than any other, but I am trying to be more intentional about setting boundaries and making it more clear to myself so that I can move on from it.

Also frustrating is that my only three final papers are all due on the same day (Monday, the 6th). Thus, this weekend is being spent working.
- One is finished and just needs to be proofread before submitting it.
- One is 3/4ths finished and just needs some more interaction with the texts
- The last is in process but needs a bit of work before I can even begin to make sense of it.

So that's my life right now. Not a happy-go-lucky existence, but a season like other seasons that must be lived through before the next one comes.

Time to get back on the horse once again.

Identity in the wilderness

I've been thinking a lot lately about the wilderness. The wilderness exists multiple times in the Bible, but we always associate it with Moses and the Israelites. This is the biggest wilderness, it seems: forty years of wilderness and wandering. Forty long years.

I can't really blame the Israelites for grumbling. At least in Egypt they knew who they were: they were slaves, and they had a job to do. It sucked, and the Egyptians weren't easy on them, but they knew who and what they were and didn't lose their God-given identity as the people of God.

And on the other side, they had the Promised Land where they lived out their identity for centuries. They knew who they were and that God was on their side. They knew that God would protect them and searched out God when they felt alone. They knew where they strength lay. David's psalms reveal that quite plainly. Today we often look back at the psalms to find the words when we can't form them ourselves. We use them the words of Israel to guide us through our painful times, our joyful times, and to guide our times of worship. The community of Israel formed our own views of God, and continues to help us day after day.

It was when they were in the desert that they grumbled continuously. God had to show them mystical signs for them to believe: manna on the ground, a pillar of fire, a parting of the sea. Repeatedly, they doubted. They searched for other gods. They sought out idols. They did things they probably wouldn't normally do.

They were lost, physically and spiritually, in the wilderness.

And yet, somehow, they eventually did get to the Promised Land. They eventually crossed over and lived out their lives. But not before a generation died out. They just had to get through the wilderness, learn from their experiences, and at some point, realize that God was enough.

And I wonder sometimes if the Israelites that didn't make the journey had a discussion with God at some point and asked why they weren't able to complete the journey. Still sitting in the presence of God and doubting, questioning... continuing to grumble.

I wonder about this because we all grumble. We all go through times when we are lost in the wilderness, too. Where we wonder what our identity is. We wonder what our purpose is. If we are in the desert, what are we supposed to do? So we search. We try to find other gods. We make up ways to fulfill our desires. Melt down parts of ourselves and create idols.

Why is it so hard to just rest in our identity in God, as a child of God, the Beloved of God? Why do we continue to doubt? Why do we try to store up the manna that is provided? Where is our faith that God is not good enough when we're lost?

Even when everything seems like we're lost, we still have an identity in God.

We may have no other identity. We may be a nationless people, wandering aimlessly. We may not have a home, a family, our creature comforts... we might not have much of anything. But God is everywhere. We cannot wander where God is not.

God is wherever you are. God is before you, behind, and alongside. Above, below. All encompassing.

And you are a child of God. I am a child of God.

We get lost, but God is there.

God is here.

We always have at least that identity.

Bumble bees

There are limits in life. Walls put up that you can't pass. Fences you can't climb. Altitudes you can't climb higher than. Windows that just won't break, and you are left to stare through at the world outside.

But then there is the bumble bee:

"Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it, so it goes on flying anyway." -Mary Kay Ash

I'm a bumble bee. I push forward when I shouldn't. I keep walking when it's impossible. I take brick by brick out of the wall so that it comes tumbling down and I can finally get to the other side. It's a tedious task, and in no way immediate. The wall can take weeks and months to tear down, but it comes down. You just have to keep going.

But where is the bee flying to? What if the flower isn't actually a flower? What if it turns out to be a venus fly trap? What if on the other side of the wall it isn't a greener field or a beautiful view, but a wasteland? What happens when the expectation just isn't met?

Well, it's the journey that matters.

The view on the way to that flower has to be amazing. Gazing down at the world; the colors, smells, sounds, movements, and action. To be that bee and fly over it all, no matter the ending has to be amazing. To meet people while tearing down the wall; to sit and chat together; to work together; to just 'be'.

It's the journey.

I'll keep on flying, but I've got to say that this journey is grand. Life is one grand adventure, and the minute you lose sight of that, is the minute it all becomes mundane.

Rules are only rules because 'most' people fit into them. There are always exceptions; like the bumble bee.

What flower is next on this grand journey?

LIVE

My "ONE WORD" for 2013 is: LIVE.
The idea of choosing one word to focus on for a year is the equivalent of making a resolution, but goes a bit deeper than "lose weight". These words range from trust to believe, from patience to discipline. You can learn more about "My one word" here. 

The word "LIVE" also goes beyond vague: to survive the year. I don't want to simply live (though that, too, is a worthy goal), but I want to LIVE. LIVE with capital letters: to not miss a moment; to not forget the sunrise; to go on adventures; laugh more; love more; and enjoy each and every moment.
 
For 2013, I'm going to LIVE. And because of that, I'm going to make a 2013 bucket list. Different than my general bucket list which is sometimes huge and extravagant things, my 2013 bucket list focuses on things I can do this year. Perhaps I will make them month by month and focus on just a couple. These are going to range from the crazily absurd, to the mundane. But that's the point, I'm going to LIVE. ;-)

Want to join me on my journey? What's your word for this year?